“Then it was reported to Joab, “The king is weeping and mourning over Absalom.”

2 Samuel 19:1

David was mourning for his son Absalom as a father. At this moment, his role as a father overwhelmed his role as king. He was grieving deeply for his son, and understandably so. But he seemed to forget that he was also the king, with an army that had fought for him and protected the kingdom from a coup that had been planned by Absalom. See 2 Samuel 15:1-11.

David was facing the difficult challenge of balancing two roles: being a father and being a king. Both were important, but he struggled to give each role the attention it required.

What is particularly striking is that we do not see David inquiring of God in this situation as he had done on other occasions. In 1 Samuel 30:8, when David was faced with a difficult situation, he inquired of the Lord: “Shall I pursue this raiding party? Will I overtake them?” And the Lord gave him direction.

If David had brought the matter concerning Absalom before God, perhaps he would have received the wisdom and direction he needed to know how to deal with this difficult situation. If only he had brought the matter to God.

There is a lesson here for us. We must learn to balance the different roles and responsibilities God has entrusted to us so that one does not suffer because of another.

David had been a great king, but he had struggled in his role as a father. His failure to properly deal with Amnon was part of the chain of events that eventually led to Absalom’s rebellion. When Amnon violated Tamar, David was angry, but he did not take the decisive action that the situation required. Absalom then took matters into his own hands and eventually killed his brother.

The consequences were devastating. Absalom rebelled against his father, David’s kingdom was thrown into turmoil, and lives were lost—including the lives of his own sons. This should serve as a warning to us.

We must not sacrifice our families on the altar of ministry, calling, career, or success.

Ministry is important. Our calling is important. Our careers are important. The work God has placed in our hands is important. We should pursue the purposes of God and be diligent in whatever He has entrusted to us.

But our families are also important. We cannot put our families on the back burner while pursuing everything else. We cannot be so successful outside the home that we fail in the responsibilities God has given us within our homes.

Jesus said: “Give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.”
— Matthew 22:21. In other words, there are different responsibilities that God has entrusted to us, and we must learn to give each one its proper place.

Give God your time. Give God your effort. Serve Him in ministry. Pursue your calling. Work diligently in your career. But also give your family your time, attention, presence, instruction, discipline, love and care. Don’t sacrifice one for the other.

The answer is not simply trying harder to balance everything by ourselves. We need God’s help.

We need to pray for wisdom.
We need to inquire of the Lord.
We need to seek His direction.
And when God shows us what needs to be done, we must take action.

David knew how to inquire of God when he was facing battles. We too must learn to bring our difficult decisions—whether concerning our families, careers, ministry, relationships or responsibilities—before God.

Sometimes the greatest problem is not that we have too many responsibilities; it is that we are trying to carry them without first asking God how to carry them.”

May God give us wisdom to fulfil our calling without neglecting our families, and may He help us to recognise and faithfully attend to every responsibility He has entrusted to us.

Amen.

Thank you for reading, and may God bless you immeasurably!

Always me,

Obioma

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